Two Week Wait

Two weeks until I get to see my little bean :) I cannot wait! I just want to see that everything is going like it should and my baby is happy and safe in there.

I'm telling myself that I only have to get through one real work week, since the week of my appointment is packed with fun things..so it should go by pretty quickly. Monday I have my first appointment with the nurse, Tuesday my sister has her c-section and I get to meet my newest nephew, Wednesday is me and DH's 9 year wedding anniversary, and Thursday I'm sure will be the longest day ever, then it's Friday and I get my ultrasound! So hopefully all those distractions will help the second week go by much faster.

Everything is going well so far. Still no morning sickness. My boobs are getting huge (well, not really, but they are huge for me) and are still very sore. I'm hungry all the time, and exhausted by the time I get home at night. Hopefully all that is a good sign!

An emotional wreck.

That's what I am today. I've cried 3 times at work today. I'm just so happy. I'm so happy that I'm going to be a mama, and my husband is going to be a daddy. He is going to be such a great dad. I can't stop thinking about the miracle that is happening inside me. Everyday my baby is getting a little bigger and a little stronger...it's just amazing to me.

As far as symptoms...my boobs are getting much more sore! So that's really exciting for me. :) I'm also very tired by about 3:00 everyday, which could be contributing to my crazy emotions. Other than that I feel great, so far.

Grow baby, grow!

I'm pregnant!

I still cannot believe it. I tested at 5:30 am on Saturday morning with 2 $tree tests and sure enough, 2 BFPs!! The timing is crazy! I was scheduled to see the RE for the first time tomorrow! I had my blood test done yesterday and it came back positive. I have my first u/s on August 14th. I'm so happy and excited!!!!! So far my symptoms are being pretty tired, a slightly upset tummy, and I'm constantly hungry. For now, going by when I believe I ovulated, my due date is March 29, 2010!

I hope everyone that is following this gets their BFPs very soon!!

~*~Baby Dust~*~

Where's Spot?

This cycle started off so badly with so much spotting, my hopes got shot down very early in the game...now I don't know what is going on. I haven't had any spotting for 3 days. This never happens, I'm kinda freaking out.

I'm 12DPO today and I think I'm going to test tomorrow morning. I have absolutely NO symptoms and our BDing was the worst-timed it has ever been this month. I'm sure it will probably be negative, but somehow my body always tricks me into having a little bit of hope. It would be such a miracle if I get to cancel this RE appt...I know that's crazy talk. I havent told DH, I don't want to give him false hope like I have.

If nothing else, it is great that the spotting has stopped...so maybe we can catch next cycle for testing. I was afraid the progesterone wasn't going to help AF stay away this month...but it looks like it *might* happen now!

Honest Scrap Award

Recently I received an Honest Scrap Award from two of my blogging friends: Jen at No One Ever Told Me It Would Be This Hard and Eileen at We got hitched. We bought the 4 bedroom house. Now what??? Thanks girls!!

The Honest Scrap stipulations:

1. Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find interesting and engaging

2. Show the 7 winners names and links on your blog and leave a comment informing them that they have won the "Honest Scrap Award"

3. List at least 10 honest things about yourself.

10 Honest things about myself...

1. My husband is my best friend, and I really mean that. We have been friends since I was 15, started dating when I was 16, and got married right before I turned 19. Next month we will be celebrating our 9 year anniversary and we are more in love than ever.

2. I too am addicted to reality tv, as sad as that is. Me and my husband arrange our schedule around Big Brother and Survivor when they are on, since our DVR will not record CBS. I also love So You Think You Can Dance (my all time favorite), American Idol, and Hell's Kitchen...I'm sure I'm forgetting some.

3. I love to go on vacations. Anywhere warm is fine with me. My favorite place so far is Hawaii. We try to go on a cruise every year, hopefully we will be planning one for this January. I love the beach and the blue-green ocean. I work so I can go on vacations...my whole life is a countdown till we can go again. It's kinda sad, but it keeps me going, especially since this ttc stuff isn't working out.

4. We have our first successful vegetable garden this year, and I'm very proud of it. We have cucumbers, jalepeno peppers, bell peppers, carrots, cherry tomatoes, sweet corn, green beans, peas, big boy tomatoes, and pumpkins. Out of all that the only thing that is not producing is the pumpkins...which really doesn't matter, I was growing them for the chickens.

5. I have chickens! Seven beautiful hens. I got them last year as one-day old chicks, and they are still my babies. They come when I call them and sit in my lap...and they give me breakfast. We also have 3 dogs (2 lab mixes and a pug) and 3 cats. My animals are like children to me.

6. I'm not sure I'm cut out for this infertility stuff. I'm a very emotional girl anyway, and this is not helping things. I just hope I can keep it together at my RE appointment.

7. I'm going to be a SAHM when we finally do have a baby. I cannot wait for that day. My work is not that great, since this has always been the plan. I have really great insurance though, so until then I'm kinda trapped where I'm at for now.

8. I'm a very picky eater...I always have been. I used to drive my mom crazy, eating cereal for dinner whenever she would make something I didn't like. I don't eat any red meat, and havent for at least 5 years. I don't eat pigs either. I'd love to be a vegetarian, but I don't really care for most vegetables :-/

9. I love fruit...almost all fruit.

10. I've been back to working out regularly for 2.5 weeks. (yay me!) I made myself commit to one month so I could be in the best shape possible by the time I see the RE. Secretly I have committed to more than a month, but it's easier to keep going with a short term goal.

That's it. Now here are 7 blogs that I love to read.

1. Christina at Trying for a boy!!

2. Erin at A Journey to Our Baby!

3. Amanda at Twice Baked

4. Angry Infertile at The Angry Infertile

5. Naomi at 999 Resons to Laugh at Infertility

6. Emily at 32 people between my legs and counting...

7. Clara at What Can Happen in a Year?

You all are wonderful. I love reading your blogs; your stories help me and many others get through this difficult journey.

I was wrong.

Well we had lunch yesterday. Friend #2 is not pregnant, infact it's the opposite. I found out that she has been trying to conceive for over a year, and is seeing the same RE that I will be seeing this month. The appointments that she's been mentioning in her facebook have been for her husband (who has zero sperm count) and for herself (to donate eggs for money in case they have to do IVF). Her husband is having surgery 2 days before my RE appt to repair two varicoceles and to try to unblock his semenal vesicle. It's crazy, I would have never guessed that she was going through all of this.

I had no intention of telling any of them that we were having trouble, but after she shared all that information, I decided to share that we were going to the RE as well. Now we can go through it together. They were very supportive, and I'm really glad that both of us shared what we're going through.

It actually turned out to be the best lunch we have ever had together. We talked for hours about everything. I think sharing what's really going on in our lives brought us all much closer together.

I love my friends, even the fertile ones.

Lunch with the girls

About six months ago I had a dream, maybe kindof a nightmare. I was at lunch with 3 of my girlfriends from high school. Each of them, one after the other, announced that they were pregnant. I busted into tears at the table. It was horrible.

Tomorrow I'm having lunch with these 3 friends. We get together every few months to catch up. I found out that one of them is PG a few weeks ago through Facebook. So this will be the first time getting together since then. I'm also very suspicious of friend #2. She has made some "status udates" that tell me she is probably pregnant, and going to tell us tomorrow. The pregnant friend asked her what was up with her status updates, and she said she would tell us at lunch when we get together. That screams pregnant to me. DH says I'm crazy. The third friend has an 18 month old, and said she is waiting until he turns two to start TTC, but nothing would surprise me.

I really hope its not all three of them. I think I will be ok, even if it is. I've mentally prepared myself for it because of the dream, just in case. I will let you know how it goes.

My hopes are low this month...

I took my temp today for the first time this cycle and I had a post O temp. I have never O'd earlier then CD 12, but of course this month I would. I've been trying to work with this low sperm count, so we hadn't BD the last 2 days...to try to build some up for tonight (thinking I would O today or tomorrow). Now the only thing we have to work with is CD9, which I'm sure there was almost no sperm that time, since we BD the day before and twice that day. Ugh, I hate this.

I also had some spotting again yesterday, just like last cycle. I don't know what is going on with me.

Just 2.5 weeks till we see the RE and get a new plan.

And so it begins...

So I've decided to start a blog. More for myself than anything else. I feel like if I can write out what I'm feeling as we travel this road, I might stay a little more sane.

We are currently on our 11th cycle trying to conceive our first baby. Our jouney has not been easy so far. I've had major spotting issues from the beginning, with spotting starting a few days after I ovulate until AF shows up. At first my doctor thought I would be totally fixable. He gave me a couple months of Provera in an attempt to hold off AF, so that I would not spot and when she did show up it would really clean me out...like a chemical D&C, he said. This did not work. I still had spotting every month, I was getting so frustrated.

When we hit the 6 month mark, I called my doctor and set up an appointment. He decided to check my progesterone, which was low (7)-but did indicate that I was in fact ovulating. He prescribed Prometrium for me to take after ovulation until 18DPO, or if we were lucky I would be taking it until I was 10 wks pregnant. It didn't work, I started spotting earlier that month than I did the month before.

The next cycle he switched my medication to progesterone vaginal suppositories...fun, right? It did help some, I didn't officially start spotting until a few days before my period. We kept the same plan for the following cycle, and had the same results...no baby.

I called my doctor to see what our next step would be. I didn't get the news I was hoping to hear. My options were to either have an endomitrial biopsy to try to figure out why my linging is not holding up, or be referred to an infertility specialist. I was really just hoping he would give me some clomid and in a few months I would be pregnant. That night we talked it over and decided to see the specialist, I have an appointment on July 22nd.

In the meantime we had my husband see his doctor about having a semen analysis. In the back of your mind, you always worry that the results will be bad...but I really thought he would be ok. His results were not good: count, motility, and morphology were all low. I'm not sure what our next step will be. We are planning on taking the results to the specialist and seeing what he recommends.

My worst fear, that both of us are the problem, is coming true...and I'm scared.